This journal is mostly reposted from my blog. I assume very few people here read the blog, so I hope it's not annoying to occasionally repost the entries about my life. If it is, seriously, let me know! I'll stop. But this time, I thought it was important to displace my previous journal entry, which isn't entirely true any more, and to explain what the hell I've been doing lately.

The Other Lamm and I have set in motion an insane plan to change our lives completely. We've done this sort of thing before, but not nearly to this degree. As expected, this process has been an even mix of thrilling and terrifying, and I don't imagine it's going to get easier. We'll see, though.

So far, we're midway through steps one and two.

Step 1: Get rid of nearly everything we own. This includes furniture, artwork, keepsakes, lots of kitchen utensils. It's not as easy as I figured it would be. For the furniture, you really want to sell it, since it was pricey to begin with, but people just aren't buying a lot these days. For keepsakes, you know, you think you can just dump them… until you look at a thing, hold it in your hands, and remember that long-dead relative who gave it to you. And I have this added guilt whenever I get rid of an item I was told to treasure.

Gollum: Never throw this VCR away. It has all metal parts. They don't make these any more. This is a precious, precious thing.

Me: But… it's a VCR.

Gollum: KEEP THE PRECIOUS!

Books are just impossible. Because they're books. It's like throwing friends away. I just know I'm going to miss them once they're gone, even the ones I haven't spent time with in a while.

Still we're trucking along, and our house is slowly getting emptier.

Step 2: Buy an RV. This was The Other Lamm's plan to move comfortably with our pets. The wheeled beast will be our home until we find another in our new location. This should be interesting. We've got potential RVs narrowed down, and we're taking steps to finally procure one. I'm not fond of RVs as a rule, but getting one means we're another step closer to our ultimate goal, which you don't get to know yet. It's easier to share plans when they're in mid-bloom than to explain why they fell apart before they ever got started.

So that's the current story of my life. Documentation of the next steps to follow, when they're a little less jazz and a little more—I don't know—symphonic, I guess.

Also… [youtube [link]

This journal is reposted from my blog.

I just found out Doctor Who is back on the air! That's how out of touch I've been. I missed it, and I'm probably going to miss some more because THINGS ARE HAPPENING. My life could change dramatically very soon in so many different ways, and it all comes down to just a few factors. For this reason, I've been in high-anxiety mode. When I'm not running around trying to figure things out and get things done, I'm busy fighting insomnia. So I haven't been blogging, I haven't been tweeting, I haven't been very active on Goodreads or DeviantArt, and I'm sorry.

One thing I have been doing is working to get my books to a wider audience. You may have noticed Chemistry, my contemporary YA retelling of Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, has been having a bit of a coming-out party in the form of a free e-book event. It was nurtured and sheltered by Amazon for its first several months in the world, and now it's time for the little book to grow up and meet new vendors like Kobo and Barns & Noble. Maybe even iBooks, if iBooks is sweet.

If you missed the first few days of Chemistry's event, don't fret. You can still grab the book for free at Amazon all day today and tomorrow. Please do, in fact! Compared to Titan Magic, Chemistry has been kind of an odd duck—a socially awkward, shy little book. It needs to get out there and dance with new readers.

And I need to get my life in order so I can sit down and have a very serious Doctor Who marathon night.

I feel I should apologize for my flakiness over the last few weeks, and also tell you why it's happening. I'm in the process of selling my first ever house and moving from the desert to the midwest. Because fireflies! I've never seen one in person. Also I promised my dog he could play in the snow again if he just survived his Valley Fever, and it looks like he's gonna pull through. Also my spouse grew up in the midwest. But mostly, FIREFLIES!

So things are a bit crazy for me right now. I've never done this before. I'm worried about timing, the inevitable period of homelessness (with five pets!), and the logistics of the actual move. All this is making revisions kind of tricky, but I'm plugging along. I'll still update. It just might be spotty for the next month or two. Sorry about that. But I really think it'll be worth it. For Fireflies.

Eyes on the prize, right?

is multi-talented. She can weave a great story, paint a breathtaking scene, or make you laugh with one of her comics. But what drew me to her, in the first place, was her characters, and you must check out her whole gallery to get a taste of them.

is another artist who works in more than one medium: writing and some pretty incredible graphic design. I envy people with talent in both writing and visual art. Check it out!

It's Not Like He's Aggressive"Alright, listen.  I am telling you, this has gone far enough.  And if our demands are not met semi-immediately, I assure you, you will regret it deeply and with much gnashing of hands."  F6 rubbed his bony fingers together for emphasis, and Tyson looked up at his grinning face nervously.

"Excuse me?" Tyson asked, biting his upper lip and looking away.  He had been forewarned that F6 might be malfunctioning.  It wasn't as though he hadn't worked with F6 before, but he'd always been cheerful, cooperative, excited to do whatever he was asked.  Now there was something sinister in his v TTOCT Round 4 Sidequest- Part 1 SJTRound 4 Sidequest
Part 1
 
The two medics closest to Austere’s left side jumped back as he toppled without warning in their direction.  Although he’d been initially making headway against those who dragged him away from Rufus, even breaking free at one point and grabbing hold of the wizard again, the resistant gloves and spells the medics had used kept an effective block to his electricity.  The medics circled him, grabbing hold of his arms and side to keep him in place.  Having broken the circle of medics surrounding him in hopes of escorting him to the hospital, Austere scrambled to his feet, only to be knocked to his knees once more as a wave of golden magic hit him underneath his shoulders.  A bit of his skin prickled around where he’d been hit, but the mostly mechanical affected area felt no pain.
 
“Grab his legs!” someone behind him shouted.  Austere drew his sword and whirled around, aiming for the man who had hit

is a novelist! Just read the first line of the description for his novel Man to Man: 'I've traded my old enemies for just this one…' The axe thundered home. 'I miss the old ones.' Does that seem like something you'd be able to put down once you started? I think not.

From Man to Man Pt 1.
     'I never meant to let you down.'

     Draven lifted a stray curl of his wife's hair from her face. She smiled in her sleep as if knowing he was there. As silently as he could, he leant over the bed and kissed her softly on the cheek.

     'I've tried everything.'

     Rising slowly, as quietly as he could manage on the wooden floorboards, Draven retreated from the bed. By the fractured light from the shutters he made for the bedroom door. The walls of the house were thin and he heard a creak from the neighbouring room.

   It Began With Ashes - Prologue.
     "Are we being followed, father?"

     "No, Astartes, we are not being followed."

     "How can you be sure? You didn't even look!" Astartes whined. Struggling to turn in the saddle behind his father, Astartes craned his neck to look back through the night. The dirt track meandered this way and that, winding through the Emberfen Forest. The path was hard to make out amongst the muddy browns of the woodland, made all the more difficult by the thick canopy obscuring the glow of the stars and moon overhead.

     Nicolas shook his head, scratching idly at his flame-red moustache. "Don't let your eyes play tricks on you, son…there's no Prophecies of War     "Is it true that the Narz skin the soles from the feet of their dead?" Keeve gulped, fingering the stiff collar of his leather armour.

    "That it is little brother, but only those they consider to be enemies."

    "Bryce – do the Narz consider us to be their enemy?"

    "You and I? No, no. We are wardens of the Raighl clan. Keepers of the 'Old Ties'. Tribal barbarians or not – the Narz will hold to their alliance with the Keltir clans and the Vikir people.

    "Maybe so, but then why is that one eyeing my feet?" Keeve declined his head in an almost imperceptible nod, indicating one of the two tribesmen stationed befor

is a writer I discovered when `LiliWrites insisted everyone go and read one of his pieces. I did, and I couldn't get over the detail, the sense of place, and the utterly real characters he creates. This is a writer who knows his craft. I tell you, you absolutely MUST check out his entire gorgeous gallery.

A Relationshipone.

i liked him
because he knocked the ash
off his cigarette
with his left index finger;
once,
he was drunk
and burned himself
when he forgot to pull away.

two.

that day,
i ate two apples
a banana
and three rice cakes. he asked

do you always do this to yourself?

three.

the first couch was red:
soft synthetic fiber that inhaled
sweat,

quivered beneath our touch,
knowing.

four.

i like dogs,
he told me,
but i wish i owned horses;

he had a pony, once,
a shetland that hated brushing,
and we laughed.

five.

i was the first to say
i loved him,

but not before he
touched my collar where it
dipped,

smiling because
i let him pay for dinner

is one of the first people I got to know via DeviantART. She's another multi-talented artist. Her gallery includes photography, graphic design, and some truly beautiful writing. She's also a perfectly wonderful person, so hop on over to her page and get to know her a little better.

Hello, hello to anyone who reads this journal!

I'm doing a feature because I was featured by the magnificent . Also because I've never done a feature, and if I don't, the DA writing community says I should expect the first spirit tomorrow, when the bell tolls one. Or something. I'm pretty sure it was just indigestion. Better safe than sorry, though. So the first ten people to comment on this journal will get three pieces chosen and featured by me. The only stipulation is that you must, in turn, offer the same deal on your own journal. If you don't, I'll forward the ghosts on to you, which I'm sure is totally a thing I can do.

Edit: I forgot the #1 spot goes to the one who went before me. It looks like I have only five. I'll wait until the end of the week and then start the features. Thanks for participating, everyone!

Edit II: And we're done!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Happy new year, everyone! I've finally gotten around to posting the sequel of Titan Magic. It's called Titan Magic: Body and Soul, and it delves a bit more into the stories of Kaspar and Marcus. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you are all having a fantastic new year so far.

I have good news. You know that parrot I agreed to foster, and subsequently began to adore? Well, we just got his latest test results back and it turns out he is doing very well. No cancer, after all. So that's awesome. He still has a heart murmur and liver disease, but he might pull through. We'll just give him a good diet and hope he gets a little healthier every day. He seems happy, anyway. I think he likes to be part of our weird little family.

Now we're just waiting on the dog. He has two more months of treatment and then more tests. I can't wait to find out how he's doing. He still seems sick and gets sick, but the doctor says his pain is mostly gone, which should mean the medication is working, which should mean he doesn't have cancer, after all. Seriously, I NEED this to be true. Two animals (one being a pet I've loved for eight years) with most-likely terminal cancer was too much. I will be so, so happy to learn my dog has no cancer and is recovering from Valley Fever. I want to see him be a happy, playful dog again.

Also, just in case it helps anyone, I thought I'd mention this: I was told before moving here that Valley Fever is no big deal, that hardly anyone gets it, most people get over it quickly and never even know they have it. While this is partly true, it isn't the whole story. Valley Fever is a big deal in that once you have it, you have it always. You can get it and never know you have it, or you can get it, not know you have it, and find out months or years later that it's still in your system, growing in your joints, muscles, or even your brain. It can cause chronic pain, paralysis, seizures, and death. It is a nasty disease if your body happens to be one of those that doesn't fight it off right away, and it's especially common in dogs, who are more prone due to their natural outdoor-romping tendencies. So, seriously, if you're thinking of traveling to the Sonoran Desert, consider leaving your dog with a sitter.

I was just going to post a quick journal edit/reminder that today is the last day to download Chemistry for free when I saw the messages in my inbox. I thought it had to be some kind of glitch because I never get that many. Then I remembered hearing someone's story about seeing tons of messages and finding out they had been given a DD. So I checked. And yes! They went and made "My Brother's Blood" a Daily Deviation! On Halloween, which is the best holiday in the whole universe. I'm kind of blown away. I never thought I would get a DD. This morning rocks, now. Thank you all!

Okay. I didn't get Chemistry published on time, exactly, but I was so close! It's available now, and as promised, I have done an immediate free event. SO starting tonight at midnight Chemistry, the ebook, will be free Oct. 30-31. Please enjoy! Remember, even if you don't have a Kindle, you can get the free app that allows you to read on your computer, smart phone, or whatever.

Thank you all so much for the support and encouragement, especially when I was going through a rough patch with my dog (who appears to be doing better, and is hopefully not terminal at this point. Yay!). I hope to be posting more work soon, but for now, I think I'm going to take a mini-break. Whew!

These last couple weeks have been scary, to say the least, and tough to get through. About three weeks ago, my dog Nino stopped eating, stopped swimming, and started getting winded way too soon on walks. I knew there was something wrong, so I took him to the vet. The vet said it was probably no big deal and put him on antibiotics, which had no effect.

Yesterday, I had to take Nino to a specialist, who narrowed the possibilities down to two. Nino could have systemic Valley Fever, which is a fungal infection found only in the desert where I live. The fungus gets into your lungs, grows, and then makes spores that go throughout your whole body. It can kill you, if you're unable to fight it off. It's killing my dog, if that's what he has. It's gone from his lungs to his spine.

The other possibility is the bad one, believe it or not. That is cancer. In his spine. In that case, he's probably not got much longer to live. The price just to diagnose this cancer is nearly $3,000, which i don't even come close to having. So we're treating him for Valley Fever, hoping that's what he has. It's the lesser of the two evils, I guess.

I don't know what else to do, but it's so hard  to see him this way. We've been selling our furniture to pay for his vet bills, but no one's buying it so far. And I'm so angry with myself because I can't just be calm and strong for him. I can't sleep at all. I'm just a mess. I love this dog, and I thought the had a good seven years left, at least.

So if I seem a little out of it or less than active, that's why. I will do my very best to get Chemistry published on time, especially as I am in need of the money it might earn. And I will also try to stay active, as I think it's best to keep my mind busy. But if I flake, please forgive me.

Chemistry will be published in October. YAY! And this time I've decided to accept the exclusivity clause right away, so I can give it away for free immediately. Unfortunately, that means I have to store most of the chapters here. Again, I'll do it bit by bit, so those who want to finish reading it and need to get caught up can. So if you see chapters disappearing, that's what's going on. But the most recent chapters should stay up until October, at the earliest.

Thanks so much to everyone who has read and enjoyed Chemistry! You're all awesome.

So, if you fell in love with a homeless creature and was offered the opportunity to adopt it, but learned the animal was likely not long for this world due to some pretty major health concerns, would you still adopt it? Would you allow yourself to become more attached to an animal, just to watch it deteriorate?

I think I will, but it's gonna hurt. I just know it. It's more than a little depressing, even though I kind of suspected the little guy was not doing so well. And who knows? He might live many years with only some weakness to plague him. I don't know. He just seemed to open up to us so quick, and I think he enjoyed his time in our home. Shouldn't we give him as many happy days as we can, despite the inevitable hurt?

Ugh. This is my current situation. Suffice it to say, I'm kinda sad.

I admit I've been bad at updates the last week or so. But I have a really, kind-of-sort-of, no-seriously-good reason.

Some of you may remember the journal I wrote about the pigeon that was shot down into our yard. I took it to an avian wildlife rehabilitator who surgically removed the pellet that was lodged into its spine (it had been shot with an air rifle). Well, Mr. Juniorel and I have been volunteering our time and working with some of the birds. Among the wild birds, there are also exotic pet birds that were either abused or unwanted. We talked it over and decided we might like to adopt one of them. I grew up around birds and missed their company. So, after describing our lifestyle and home, we asked the rehabilitator which bird would most benefit from a life with us. She pointed us to the last bird we expected, saying he was quiet and well-behaved, but a special-needs case that nobody ever wanted.

The little guy was in a corner in an acrylic cage, and he never made a sound. He was always puffed up and angry/sleepy looking, so I had never done more than feed him and clean his papers. But the thing about this bird is he isn't angry. He was just hit in the head, which messed up his eyes and face, so he doesn't emote quite the same way other parrots do. I imagine his quietness is just his "powers of invisibility", which I've noticed some animals (and people) that have been mistreated often develop.

Well, we took him home, and omygosh is he a sweetheart. He makes these little burble noises instead of the usual parrot squawk. When he eats, his whole face gets covered in food. He's more trusting and less afraid than I thought he would be, and the first time he asked me to pet his head, I just about lost it. He lacks the strength to grip things much (I have yet to determine if it's the result of his head injury, poor health, arthritis, or just age) and this weakness, coupled with night-terrors makes a nightlight necessary. We also have to keep watch over him in case he falls from his perch during the day. Oh but, you guys, if you could meet him, you'd just melt.

Anyway, if the rehabilitator agrees after this trial run, we might add this little feather-fiend to our multi-species clan permanently. Then I'll get him a checkup with a doctor and figure out the best course of action for him.

So yeah, I've had some new things going on in the form of a little green ball of unexpected cuteness, which, in addition to the revision work I'm still trying to slog through, has slowed my uploading chapters to DA. Honestly, it's mostly the revision, but the bird is a far more interesting story. Also, I wanted to suggest to any of you thinking about getting a new pet, consider rescue adoption. It's a little PSA, I know. But there are SO many sweethearts out there with no home or family, which is what they really need in life. You'll find someone waiting for you, and no one will ever be able replace them. My rescue animals have always been the most loyal and big-hearted pets I've ever had. They really do deserve to be loved every bit as much as the fancy, pet-shop babies.

Two things: It's almost my birthday AND Chemistry is almost done! That means, in the near future, I'm going to be posting bits of Titan Magic: Body and Soul to DA. For any new follower who is interested, this is a sequel to Titan Magic, which I posted here last year, though I had to remove all but three chapters of it due to contractual obligations.

It might be kind of confusing to read a sequel without having read the first book, so I've decided to do a free event—with the excuse that it's my birthday—for anyone who might like to know what the hell is going on in the sequel.

SO, on July 26 from midnight to midnight Titan Magic, the digital version, will be free on Amazon. If you don't have a Kindle, that's OK. You can always download the Kindle App. for free, and read on your computer/smartphone/whatever devices support it. Hopefully, that way, the sequel won't be out of context.

I'm so excited to share that Chemistry now has its very own gorgeous cover. I have to thank for creating such a beautiful cover image for me. If you'd like to see what it looks like, head on over to [link] and check it out.

So that's that cat out of the bag. I'm going to publish Chemistry for fun and profit. But first I'm going to make it available for free to anyone here who's been enjoying it and might like an ebook version. I'll let you know when that happens.

My work on Chemistry has given me a nice little break from Titan Magic, but soon I'll be back to the grindstone on that series and posting chapters for the sequel. It really has been a challenging project. I'll probably do a standalone in between each book, not because I don't love working on the series, but because sometimes you gotta prevent burnout. So even if you aren't reading Titan Magic, I hope you enjoy the standalone novels.

Hi! I'm writing this little journal to displace the previous journal, in which I said I was going to be a flake. I now have a pretty consistent internet connection. YAY! And I'll be posting a new section of Chemistry soon.

My internet connection is about to get pretty unpredictable this coming week. Please forgive my possible disappearance and a missing update or two. And thanks so much for reading, to those who are. I you!

I've been toying with the idea of a back-cover blurb for Chemistry for some time, and I think I may have finally come up with something. I thought I'd share it here to see what you all think. So here it is:

You don't want to read this book. I'm warning you. This isn't a heartwarming, boy-meets-girl, high school romance. I wish it were—God, do I ever. No, if you read this book, you're going to be angry… with me, mostly. You'll probably yell at me, if you're the type of person who yells at books. You'll tell me not to be so stupid, but I won't listen. I'll be exactly as stupid as I need to be to destroy everything I love because that's who I am: a walking, talking tragedy. That's who I've always been. But if you're determined to read this despite my warning, I may as well introduce myself. My name is Claude Frollo, I'm eighteen years old going on eighty, and this is my story. It isn't pretty, but it's honest. And it's the only story I have left to tell.

It's different from any blurb I've written in that it's in the voice of the main character. I usually don't write them like this because I like to avoid anything that could be considered a gimmick, but in this case, it just seemed right. After all, the voice is the most important part of the piece.

So what do you think? Is this right for Chemistry?

April has been a bad, bad month for me, but I wanted to tell you about it because something awesome came out of it, too. So you know, I have a condition that sometimes causes me a lot of pain and makes it difficult to function. I recently went off the medication I take for it because of some unpleasant side effects, which was a bad idea, I guess. I was in almost constant pain, lethargic, not eating, not accomplishing anything, just wanting everything to stop. Then someone shot a pigeon in my yard.

I hate watching things die. I mean I really hate it. Once a creature is dead, I'm sad, but I'll deal with it. Life is life, and it always ends in death. But watching something suffer and doing nothing, even if it's only an insect, is a special kind of hell to me. So I cancelled all my appointments, caught the bird with the help of a kind neighbor, and started frantically phoning emergency vet clinics.

"It's a pigeon," they said. "No one will do anything for it." I told them I would pay. Didn't they have to do something if I paid? I mean what if I just happened to have a pigeon for a pet? Didn't they have to treat it then? I didn't even care whether I could afford it at the time. Someone had to do something. The poor bird couldn't use it's legs. It was bleeding and blinking up at me with gold-and-amber, sunset eyes. But it was a pigeon, so the answer was no. Never mind that pigeons are actually doves we brought here in the first place. Never mind the carrier pigeons that saved hundreds of lives in wars past. Pigeons are worthless.

One vet finally gave me the number of a place that would help, and my husband and I drove an hour to get the bird to someone who could treat it. It was just a person, operating out of her house. But oh, the operation she has! There are birds of all varieties there, owls and hawks, falcons and doves. She has parrots that have been lost or abandoned, a raven (an unbelievably beautiful bird), an emu named Kevin, and a Vulture named Voldemort. She even has orphaned rabbits. She rehabilitates and releases those creatures she can, and those that can never go back into the wild (like the vulture, raven, and hawk) she trains to be educational birds.

So I volunteered—because what else was a super-depressed, feeling-useless-and-in-pain girl to do? And even though I could barely stand at the time, it was awesome. I hand fed a baby owl, pigeons, and finches. I got to cuddle with Cockatoos and pet a young hawk. I've even helped to bathe orphaned ducklings. Honestly, it's been wonderful, and I keep going back because it makes me feel good to do what I can for the creatures I loved as a child.

So yeah… April? Not a total loss.

Also, in case you were curious, the pigeon survived.

Titan Magic just inspired its first DA fan art, and I am absolutely beaming over it.

I LOVE the idea of fan art—of one art form inspiring another. After all, I take inspiration from music, visual art, and literature all the time. So when an artist I had never seen before told me she planned to do a few character portraits, I did the dance of the deliriously happy.

Then, when I finally saw the finished product… Just wow. I had no idea how gorgeous it would be. Even though the artist's portraits are all beautiful, I could not imagine how she would visualize a character I had created. But it's perfect. And stunning. And it's mind blowing to actually see a person I could only imagine before.

So here is Maddy's first portrait!

And be sure to check out the rest of 's gallery, as well. Her work is intriguing, unique, and pretty freaking awesome, if you ask me.